Finding the Path to Life After Loss

“I was learning that God works in the most amazing ways.  I was being told,
‘I am with you always…and at all times.’
I was finding out that things were happening that I had once thought impossible.”
Marjorie Steiner, Terry Larkin, The Light Gap: God’s Amazing Presence p. 55

Photo by Marj Steiner: The moon’s eclipse as seen from Eagle River, Wisconsin

Grief is a very heavy emotion.  It moves very slowly.  It is like homesickness that won’t go away.  You can’t get back to where you were moments before you knew the person was gone from your presence for the rest of your life.  My heart literally hurt. My being was yelling…No! No!

That is how my amazing healing journey started, in despair.  I was hanging onto my faith in God like my life depended on it.  Each of us in the family was dealing with the death in their own way.  How important it was to be together as we started to live the reality of the loss  –  how hard it was sometimes. My experience was with the loss of a child, but whether you are experiencing a death, a health issue or a traumatic experience of any kind, we all need to find a way to heal our emotions, our spirits, and our bodies.  I humbly offer advice from my own journey.

Community became very important.  We formed a grieving committee made up of friends, colleagues, and even included a few recommended wise “new” friends.  Our committee held us in their hearts as we cried our way through the first meetings.  Next, they helped us articulate who Anne was and what made her unique and special.  We went on to articulate what we could do in Anne’s honor that would help others. We met once a month for a year.

Read books!  Books just kept coming to me…a gift from someone, a book on the store shelf or table or in the library that caught my eye.  Wonderful authors with wisdom, encouragement, and insights into life and death. Novels that brought messages such as, “I don’t know whether Penelope believed in God, but I am sure God believed in her.” (Shell Seekers)

Meditation, a new skill I choose to learn. I started with just five minutes and worked up to twenty.  Often the messages or insights were not heard at the time, but came as I was busy with the tasks of the day.   At the beginning of my experience, guided meditation helped.  Later I used just music. I learned to be with silence. Go within, God will meet you there.  Be still so that you can hear God’s small voice.

Start a Soul Journal. Write down what you are thinking, feeling, hearing.  When you read it back later, you can see how far you have come.  I know I also began to see writing that had such wisdom I asked, where did that come from?  The small, quiet voice of God was there with me.

Walk, there is something in the movement that is calming.  Nature shows you the way.  Observe, give thanks for the beauty of the snow on the pine trees, the song of the cardinal, the bright green of new leaves.  It is a way to begin to take care of yourself again.  Eat wisely, gain strength.

Feelings are the language of the soul.  Feel into your soul.  God is crying with you.  You are not alone.  Feel the feelings until they transform in the LIGHT.  I learned that sad and happy sit together.  I can be happy again.  I found that what I faced erased, what I resisted, persisted.  I had to learn to feel with my heart, form a vision of the future, and then step into the new life that was waiting for me.

I found that Anne was not gone from my presence, her spirit is always present.  She lives on.

You can find the resources that Terry and I used to regain our emotional balance and health in our book The Light Gap: God’s Amazing Presence, or on our website  www.thelightgap.com.

 

 

4 Comments on “Finding the Path to Life After Loss

  1. Hi Marg
    It’s Sally Christie
    Your book is so inspiring. I am in a Bible study here in AZ and we are planning to read your book next. We are going to need 11 books. How should we order them?
    Love and miss you
    Sally

    • Hi Sally,
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It helps us to hear your inspiration! Learning that God was within rather than “out there somewhere” made a huge difference for us too on our soul journey. Another very expanding understanding that now makes a difference is the way we think about the universe. The boundaries between God, all of us, and those that went before us are like a sieve, not a solid door. Be sure to share the questions that come up as your group are reading The Light Gap: God’s Amazing Presence. We will try to answer them in our blogs.
      Marjorie & Terry

  2. Your blog is beautiful and I look forward to following you and Terry.
    Margie. I’m sending an email to you requesting prayer support.
    I love you.
    Pat

    • Pat,

      Many prayers have been coming your way. I hope you are feeling the healing energy of the prayers and of the community. Thank you for letting us know that you are enjoying the blog and finding it inspiring. Love back to you Pat! Marj

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