How I Began Meditation

Meditation is such an interesting experience. I had heard about it, but had never really thought about it enough to try it myself until a little more than 18 years ago. It was a time in my life after the death of our daughter Anne and my Light Experience, and I was searching. I was now in the phase of knowing that contact with the Divine was possible, but I was still struggling with all I had experienced and what it meant in my life on a daily basis.

I first attempted meditation at the invitation of a Methodist minister and his wife, who lived in our neighborhood. At the time, he was working on a mission project in the city of Chicago. His wife was a psychologist working with clients. They were offering a group experience in their home. The group experience helped. They were using the method of Lectio Divina: read, pray, meditate, live. The goal was to develop a conversation between you and God. We used the Psalms or a meditative reading first and then spent 20 minutes in silence.

At first, 20 minutes seemed like an hour! As I began, I was antsy within 5 minutes. Over time I relaxed into the process and found I liked the “silence.” I put silence in quotes because thoughts kept my mind busy most of the time! Hal Edwards’ recommendation for thoughts that come up such as your “to do list” or “life issues” was to think of a gently flowing stream, and put the thoughts into a boat or on a leaf that is floating down river, away from you. Being gentle with oneself is important. It was a very helpful visual tool for me as a beginner. I still use it at times when I cannot get my mind settled.

At this early time in my meditating experience, I was operating out of an assumption that there was ONE RIGHT WAY TO DO THIS.   Where was God’s voice instead of mine? I felt like I was failing the class! Keeping my mind on the readings did not work for me. Current life thoughts were abundant. It was definitely a start and stop experience.

I now have a better understanding of meditation. I now KNOW that there is no such thing as one right way. There is no voice per say – the communication is like a voiceless voice, a knowing. For me, God communication has a slightly different feel than a thought. I have learned that feelings are the language of the soul. Each of us is unique, as unique and beautiful as each snowflake that falls from the sky. But some experiences are more helpful to me than others. Over time, I did relax into the experience and I began to feel calmness. Quiet, contemplative music helped. Guided meditations on CDs also helped a great deal.

 

The demands of teaching and daily tasks easily took over my desire for a meditative discipline. It was an on-again, off-again affair for some time. This still can happen to me. However, I can FEEL the difference when I do not take the time. It is a loss of clarity. I am not as calm, I worry more, fear creeps back into my thoughts, and to-do lists keep rolling across my mind like the credits to a movie…a list that is long, long, long.

 

David Hawkins, in a lecture Terry and I attended in 2003, states that 98% of our mind is in silence already. We “just” need to work with the 2% by finding that silent field of consciousness. Reading his book called POWER VS. FORCE helped me understand more of what I was trying to accomplish with my meditation practices.

 

For me, meditation has taken me to a place of OPENNESS. It has taken me to books I would never have read because my mind is now more open to new possibilities that define how this world REALLY works. Conversations happen, I hear things on the radio or TV, and I “hear” answers to questions I have been contemplating. The goal continues to be expanding my conversation with God and understand my path in life.

Try it! You might like it!

 

By Marjorie Steiner