PATHWAYS of Love…

PATHWAYS of Love…

Do you ever feel like you are passing through a new pathway during life’s most difficult moments? I know that for the MANY years after my Near Death Experience…I always had the feeling that I was back here  knowing that I was to SHARE the incredible LOVE that I experienced. It took me a long time to even be able to describe a Divine LOVE so great that words simply never seemed to be adequate. I can remember so clearly when Marj and I started writing our book…I didn’t think I’d be able to come up with the right words!

As I  experience the incredibly difficult grief due to the loss of my beloved husband, Doug, I am realizing that here is another PATHWAY that is opening up LOVE in new and unexpected ways. Some days I barely want to put one foot in front of the other and yet…there sits the most incredible LOVE right in my heart. There are angels in my midst in the form of friends, family, loved ones, and people that are helping me put together the Celebration of Life that will happen soon. When I go within and find the incredible LOVE that God placed inside of us…it CAN feel like a prayer coming ALIVE passing through a PATHWAY we all call LOVE.

I found myself reading so many spiritual passages by people that describe how TIME is an illusion. Maybe I could get some insights there. OKAY, we know that to be a TRUTH. Yet, words from real masters like Dr. David Hawkins would remind us ” We came to experience LIFE here on earth to live and be in it!”  But, then…the more I read,  it was so hard for me to even SAY that my beloved loving husband walked through Heaven’s Doorway…a month ago now. Accepting that he is gone is difficult and unsettling. Probably most all of us have had to deal with the grief of losing a loved one. I have before, but now I am realizing how much more difficult it is when it’s your soul mate and husband who you’ve spent living together for 55 years!

So I thought today I’d share a practice I have been doing daily for the few weeks. . At first I found going into meditation following my yoga routine simply brought tears of loss. But, I kept it up daily anyway knowing that my body was experiencing at least some peace that was needed badly.

Until…I finally began changing my inner view… choosing the path of LOVE wrapped in the peace and understanding of the life beyond. Here is what I began putting in my life during early morning hours.

1. I still began with my yoga along with any beautiful music that touched my heart that day.
2. As I was finishing and ready to sit in my chair for meditation, I began “visualizing” Doug’s soul moving though what I began calling Heaven’s DOOR. I could visualize in quite a bit of detail!
3. Something was beginning to change…into my heart would land LOVE, compassion, kindness for myself and my thoughts, and peace threaded with more strength!
4. Each morning after I began this practice, I have found the strength simply realizing what AMAZING LOVE DOUG is enveloped in with the peace and love of God and our Lord of LOVE always with him!

This practice has not REMOVED the grief that I am experiencing. But, that’s okay…I know that I am in that same LOVE…just in a reality filled way that my soul helps me with each and every day. As I was thinking about sharing my practices, I was also finishing reading a very special story written by Dr. David Hawkins wife, Susan Hawkins. It is such a LOVE filled story about her life in the LIGHT with her husband. As I read her account of losing her husband, it somehow helped me realize how difficult it can be for even the most enlightened of people we know. I will write more about this book in later posts. But I will share a section that helped me realize how VERY important it is for me, and any of us to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion.

After Dr. Hawkins passed…Susan’ words in the book reminded me of my own journey too. He had a stroke in the end, just like Doug. But, I loved the way she expressed herself freely. “His spirit left the body, but it was still in the house. I felt it as a very strong presence in the days after he died.” ~ Susan Hawkins Pg. 180

“I was in no position to hold everything together. Spiritually I was  fine, but I was struggling in other ways. Physically I was exhausted from the caretaking and from having to handle all the details of end-of-life care. It was overwhelming. Emotionally, I was in shock. I was numb; it was like a depression…but I’d be reminded how Dave always told me, “God’s grace will handle it!” ~Susan Hawkins Pg. 183

I am going to take their advice. For the next few weeks I need to take some time off writing to be totally present for family, friends, and  loved ones traveling to Michigan for Doug’s Celebration of Life on November 14.  God will be glorified and Doug will be celebrated! The week following people’s departure will be a week of self care full of self compassion, kindness to myself and YES, God’s Grace will handle it!!

I’ll see you in a few weeks! Thank you for your prayers of love and support!

They are always appreciated. Love, Terry